Wednesday, 24 August 2011

Relaxer Guilt?

If you read my blog reguarly you will know twice I have considered"going natural". I feel positive about the natural hair boom and I love blogs like kisforkinky, curlynikki and bglhonline. However sometimes I feel
"relaxer guilt" even to the point I posted this topic on Hairlista to see if other relaxed ladies felt the same way.
This relaxer guilt is strange because I have been natural for 19 out of 23 years, so I haven't been relaxed for a long time. Most of the replies were positive and stated that I shouldn't feel I have to justify my hair choices to anyone else because after all it is my head.

Here are two quotes from a youtube video which I felt showed "relaxer guilt" (and is how I feel sometimes):

"That’s good! I am relaxed and 6 months post and I must say after seeing so many women going natural I started feeling pressured to go natural, like if I kept a relaxer I wasn’t real or my hair isn’t as healthy as a natural girl and it seems like "SOME" of the natural women I have seen are acting like they are better then women with a relaxer. But it just go to show, natural or relaxed doesn’t mean you will have healthy hair! I’m staying RELAXED! Hope to be BSL by Dec! ;)"

"Thank you so much for this video.....ive seen so many natural women put down other women cause they like relaxing their hair....i was actualy getting pressured to go natural and i was feeling guilty because i had relaxed hair. But you know what? I like my hair relaxed and staying that way.This video made me feel so much better and relieved!!!"

Anyone else show symptoms of relaxer guilt?


  1. I will say I totally understand where you're coming from--I am relaxed, and while I won't say being natural is a trend (it is, after all, the hair you were born with), it seems like a lot of black women are just up and cutting their relaxed hair off or transitioning and, as a fellow black women, one would feel compelled to do the same. Being natural is finally the "in" thing and that's very cool to see, but there are people who grow discontent with their decision because they chopped in lieu of the moment and/or it was too drastic of a change for them and they were not equipped sure what to do next. While I am not trying to expose any "bad" sides to going natural--what could be bad about embracing another beautiful part of you?--I think it's one of those things that should be done for yourself and not because you see a bunch of other women doing it. I have healthy, relaxed hair that I'm comfortable with. It took me a long time to get to where I am now with my relaxed hair--building a regimen, finding out what both of my textures like, etc.--and I couldn't imagine chopping off all my progress and beautiful growth because the woman next to me did--she may have had a horrible experience with relaxed hair and BCed for her own reasons. Lol that's my point of this comment: to go natural for your own reasons/interests, not because you feel "guilty" into doing it. I would suggest the same for any natural girl contemplating on getting a relaxer. Hope this helps and good luck with whatever decision you make. :)

  2. Thanks for commenting on this post Tay- it's true that some have made the decision without researching properly how to care for natural hair. I will definitely go natural again, it's inevitable however I agree that it's important - me- anyone who goes natural does it b/c it's their own choice not due to pressure from others.